Twins 99 Volume 1 – How Heroes Start Chapter 3: Our New Lives
Five days later, it is Saturday, April 4, 2014. Jovan and I are still in the hospital. Somehow, we fully healed from Monday’s incident. Our dad called earlier and said he’s going to pick us up today so we’re just waiting for him to come.
“I still can’t believe this happened.”
I observe.
“I know.”
Jovan adds as we watch the news. We see Yamarashi High School getting reconstructed from scratch. We’ve been getting updates on the school ever since we got in this hospital.
“Dude, you know how long it's going to take to rebuild.”
“Yeah, it usually takes years to create a new school. They say it will take a month and a half, still there's no way it's going to be done within that time. Thank god, no one knows about that alien.”
Jovan sighs with relief.
“What, no, thank god, no one knows that we were apart of the incident. If people found out that we were involved in it, our lives would be over.”
I retort, thinking that Jovan was an idiot for worrying about the alien.
“But, we didn’t do it.”
“That doesn't matter. We have superpowers! Plus, we were the only ones who could see the alien. Even if we told them the truth, they wouldn’t believe us. Which includes.”
“Our dad.”
Thank you for solving the easy puzzle.
“Exactly, so we’re screwed.”
I composedly add. So hopefully, no one finds out. The only other person, who knows what really happened, is Darkseid, however there hasn’t been any incidents recently, so I assume that he has been taking care of. But, by who?
“We have to tell Dad.”
Did he not hear a word I said?!
“Did you not hear a word I said?”
I repeat from my head.
“I heard you, but it is just the right thing to do. He is probably the only person, who would believe us. He is our dad after all. Plus, he didn't seem surprised when he visited us on Tuesday. Almost like he expected this to happen.”
Jovan explains with evidence and suspicion. He has a good point.
“Well, you’ll have to think of something.”
I say as if I ignored his reasoning.
“What do you mean you? This concerns you too, you dick!”
“Alright, fine, I’ll help. Okay, think. How will we get Dad to believe that an alien attacked our school along with the fact that we have superpowers? Yeah, good luck with that.”
“You choose now to be an asshole. For real?”
“Javon, Jovan, you have visitors.”
A female nurse announces as Jordan and three teenagers unexpectedly enter our room.
“Hey, Jordan…”
I pause because I forgot the names of the other three guys. Let's see, what was the nickname I gave them? I can't believe I forgot. How can I bitch about people getting my name wrong when I get their names wrong too?
“Sebastian, Tyler, and David.”
Jovan finishes for me. He takes a breather like he guessed their names. Was he right, though? Oh yeah, STD! Sebastian, Tyler, and David. He’s right. I love myself for creating that nickname. I won't unleash it yet. Not yet.
“How come your twin had to finish your sentence? Did you forget our names?!”
“Could you all be quiet please? There are patients who are asleep.”
The nurse kindly requests from David, Sebastian, and Tyler.
“Yeah, guys, we're in a hospital. Be considerate.”
I speak, so it looks like I'm the mature person here.
“Thanks, um, Javon.”
The nurse guesses.
“Correct and you're welcome, Jennifer.”
“Awesome, that means I did the right one. See you, Jovan.”
“See you, Jennifer.”
Jovan casually replies. Jennifer winks at me and exits our room. Sebastian, Jordan, Tyler, and David leer at her like she’s a piece of meat as she walks away.
“Did that mean what I think it means?”
Sebastian drops to the floor like he just got shot.
“What is with you?”
I didn't expect him to react like that. I knew he'd be jealous, but geez. He looks dead. His eyes are open and it’s disturbing. What is he, a snake?
“What is with YOU? That's not a nurse-patient relationship.”
Tyler presumes when he goes outside of our room to gaze at Jennifer again.
“Yeah, I know. I'm proud of it. And, it only took me five days.”
I gloat. Tyler immediately receives an extreme nosebleed that propels him to hover near the ceiling as if he is a helicopter.
“Which one are you?”
David asks while randomly bowing his head and taking off his glasses. What a dick! He was mad that I got his name wrong. Why is he treating me like I'm royalty?
“Javon.”
I reply, containing my frustration.
“Javon… good job.”
David cries and gives me a thumbs up while Tyler is still bleeding in the hallway. Why is he crying?! Is he that happy for me? Dang, I didn’t think my accomplishment was so big.
“Yeah, Ja, you work fast. That’s my cousin for you. Way to pop that black cherry of yours.”
Jordan pats me on my back.
“Thanks, Jordan.”
Wait. We are talking about the wink, right? I can tell that Jovan thinks they are acting strange. He hasn’t responded to any of this.
“Hey, guys, just to make sure. What did I do?”
I feel stupid for asking that, but they are confusing me.
“Come on, man, you know. You banged the hot nurse.”
“Which is totally fine.”
Jordan and David proudly answer. Did they say what I think they said? Banged? As in sex? They really thought THAT was what I was talking about. Jovan’s eyes appear entirely white, so I know he is shocked.
“Wowwwwwwwwwww. That’s not it. AT ALL.”
I respond with no emotion in my voice. What a dumb misunderstanding. I can’t whether this is a cliche or just dumb. Sebastian’s eyes start moving in a freaky way and his body rises up like a zombie. Tyler descends to the floor and stops bleeding. However, he slips on the puddle of blood which he created. His blood gets on all of his clothes.
“So, you didn't knock her down?!”
“No, I didn’t knock her down, you dumbass!”
My response to Sebastian’s ridiculous question.
“So damn stupid. I mean come on. Think realistically. How could you even consider that?”
Jovan mentions. He says it like I have no chance in hell of getting the nurse. I agree with him, but that’s harsh.
“Oh please. The nurse said ‘I did the right one’ and she winked at Javon. What else could that have meant? I'm not dumb. You're just clueless and have no experience.”
Jordan rejoins, insulted by Jovan's last comment.
“Experience? Jordan, you know less than nothing when it comes to women, so I don't want to hear that crap from you.”
While Jovan and Jordan quarrel, Tyler attempts to stand up without losing his balance. A nurse detects him and runs away like he’s a monster.
“Wait!”
Tyler begs and falls on his blood again. This time, his blood gets on his face.
“You made it sound like you did her.”
“How?!”
I question Sebastian’s claim.
“You said you were proud of your relationship with her, that it took five days, and you knew her name.”
“I meant I was happy I became friends with her within five days and she has a name tag! I thought you were jealous because she winked at me.”
“Why would I get jealous over a wink?! I'm not in elementary school! Why would we all get worked up over a wink?!”
“Because, that wink was a sign of our relationship, dingus.”
“Your physical relationship?”
“No!”
“EVERYONE, SHUT UP!”
David yells while me and Sebastian bicker. We all close our mouths and watch him saunter towards me.
“Javon. Do you love this woman?”
He sounds so serious.
“No.”
“Don't lie to me and yourself. Be honest. Forget about the misunderstandings and think about your true feelings.”
“I'm thinking and I still say no. SHE'S NINETEEN YEARS OLD. Of course, I don't like her like that. I just wanted to be friends with her. So, I got to know her. Jennifer is apart of a nursing internship program, which is why she is here. She used to be a cheerleader. And, she likes anime. Jovan knows her too.”
“Yeah, we watched some with her.”
“See.”
Jovan and I clarify for everybody. That should fix everyone’s common sense.
“That solves all, but one thing. What did she mean when she said ‘I did the right one’?”
Jordan wonders.
“Jennifer forgot to do Javon’s physical exam yesterday, so she did it this morning. She just wanted to make sure she did the right one. You know, because we're twins.”
“Oh.”
Now, Jordan and Sebastian comprehend the relationship between me and Jennifer. Good, they understand. I wonder how they would react if I got her phone number. Thank goodness, Jennifer wasn’t here to hear any of this.
“Don't let age be the reason that you don't go for her.”
David says as if he paid no attention to everything we said. He has a problem. He is talking about something completely different.
“Hey, do any of you know where the shower is?”
Tyler ambles back into our room with blood all over his body.
“JESUS!”
Jovan shivers when we catch a glimpse of the gruesome demon, that is Tyler. We all step away from his contagious physique.
“You look like a serial killer.”
“Your entire body is a crime scene. And, a corpse.”
Me and Sebastian remark with disgusted expressions. Man, this is going to give me nightmares.
“Yeah, I know what I look like, so if you want me to turn into a human, show me where the shower is.”
How can he be so calm? Only insane people like Yuno Gasai can be cool headed with such a gory appearance. He looks like a red Swamp Thing.
“Oh, I see it. Nevermind.”
Tyler strolls past us and uses the bathroom in our room. We exhale vast amounts of air when he gets in the bathroom. Ah God, that was terrifying. I pass out on the ground.
“Why is it so loud?!”
Jennifer demands while going into our room. She notices that there is blood in the hallway and a blood trail that leads to our room. Additionally, she spots my unconscious body.
“What, on Earth, happened? ”
They don't know how to answer.
“A few things happened. However, you should only be focused on one of them right now.”
Sebastian utters to take the attention away from him.
“Uh, where am I?”
“In your room.”
Jennifer replies as I wake up with her standing beside me.
“Where is Jovan and everybody else?”
“They are waiting outside.”
Tyler comes out of the bathroom, wearing a hospital gown.
“Most of them.”
“Why are you wearing that? You look abandoned.”
Jennifer and I react to Tyler’s unattractive arrival.
“You are wearing one too, so how can you talk?”
“You are wearing it because you don’t have anything else to wear. I am wearing it because...”
Of the same reason.
“Nevermind.”
“That’s what I thought. You also fainted from seeing blood.”
“No, I fainted from seeing your blood.”
I couldn’t think of a comeback.
“That’s pathetic.”
Tyler wanders out of the room to hang out with the others.
“You look like you just got tested for a new disease.”
“What the crap, man, that isn’t funny!”
Sebastian makes fun of Tyler. I saw that coming.
“Are you okay now?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Good, then I’ll be on my way.”
“Wait.”
I implore Jennifer. I might as well ask. It’s not like I’ll see her again.
“What?”
“I know this is weird timing. Still, we probably won’t see each other again and I, um, want to remain friends. So, c-can I have your number?”
There, I said it. I hope that didn’t sound too weird. Jennifer takes time to think about it.
“Sure.”
Jennifer takes out a piece of paper and writes her phone number on it. She hands it to me.
“Alright, then. See you, Jennifer.”
“See you.”
Awesome, I got her number. I better not tell the other guys about this.I’ll probably tell Jovan later. Jennifer saunters out of the room and passes by Jovan and the others. Everyone, except Jovan, get boners and cover them as they ogle her. Afterwards, they come into my room.
“So, how are you holding up?”
David asks to change the subject. He asks that question NOW.
“I’m doing good. We're actually going to check out of the hospital today. Our dad should be coming soon.”
I answer.
“That’s good, but haven't you only been in here for five days?”
“Yeah.”
That fact surprises me too.
“That's really quick.”
“They have healing factors like Wolverine and Deadpool.”
“Yeah, except no claws and a condition that makes you mentally retarded.”
David, Sebastian, and Jordan add in a joking manner. We joyfully laugh at Jordan’s statement.
“I can't believe the school got destroyed.”
Jordan changes the mood of the room.
“Yeah, the school literally lasted one day.”
“Sike, it didn't even last a day.”
Tyler and Jovan note.
“I wonder if we're still gonna go to school?”
“Obviously not, if you haven’t went to school after Monday.”
My retort to David’s pointless question.
“That's not what I meant, smartass. I mean what if we go to another high school while Yamarashi High School gets reconstructed. You really think they would let us relax for so long after we just had a 10 month long summer.”
David explains.
“Good point.”
Jordan agrees.
“Okay, let's say that happens. We would graduate from that other school because pigs don't fly in a month and a half. They fly in about three or four years.”
Sebastian idiotically declares with confidence.
“Pigs don't fly period.”
David states because it’s common sense.
“I'm saying that Yamarashi High School will be finished by the time we graduate. That school was big. It had wide hallways, a huge cafeteria, multiple classrooms, and two elevators for each floor. You can't rebuild all of that in a month and a half.”
Sebastian clarifies. I didn't know the school had a huge cafeteria. I never got to see it because of the damn alien.
“That's true, however what if the school is actually done in a month and a half?”
Tyler ponders.
“That's very unlikely.”
“There are only two options. They transfer us to another school. Or, we stay at home until Yamarashi High School gets rebuilt.”
Jordan and I disagree with Tyler right away.
“What are the other high schools in Radix City?”
Jovan seeks since he doesn’t know.
“There's Radix High School.”
David confirms.
“Of course, every city has that one school that is named after the freaking city.”
Sebastian comments, irritated by his statement.
“Silver Leaf High School, Casava High School, and Fantasia High School.”
David finishes. So, there are four high schools in Radix City.
“I hope we go to Fantasia. I hear the kids, over there, can create fantasies.”
“You did not hear that!”
I promptly respond to Tyler being unrealistic.
“That’s not why the school is called Fantasia. I think he meant to say the kids, over there, have advanced technology.”
David interprets Tyler’s sentence to make him sound less foolish.
“No, he didn't, all three of you are idiots.”
“Wow, I thought you were the good twin.”
“That's why you look like a shadow.”
“Yeah, you have a shadow skin color.”
David, Sebastian, and Tyler reply to Jovan’s criticism. He brought that on himself.
“So, Fantasia has better technology than Yamarashi?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“That school was solely built for students who want to excel in technology. Yamarashi was just an experiment. It was built to imitate Japanese schools. The focus wasn't technology.”
“Oh, true.”
Jordan concurs with David’s reasoning. Everyone stops talking and gets quiet. I guess we all ran of things to chat about.
“Well, it was nice knowing you.”
“See you in school.”
“Get better soon.”
Sebastian, Tyler, and David speak and leave our room. What the deuce?! Those are horrible goodbyes! We’re not dying and we don’t know when we’re going back to school! At least, David said a normal goodbye. Even though, we are checking out of the hospital today.
“Such assholes.”
Jovan remarks at their disrespectful comments.
“Alright, see you later, Jovan.”
Jordan slaps Jovan’s hand like a casual black handshake.
“Javon.”
“Jordan.”
We smile and smack each other’s hand.
“Geez. They are too much.”
Jovan moans.
“At least, they visited us. No one else did besides Dad. Actually, now that I think about it. When Dad visited us, he didn't seem surprised. Like, he expected something like this to happen. So, maybe Dad will believe the crap that happened to us.”
“What the hell, that's what I said!”
“I wasn't listening.”
I act like a jerk on purpose.
“Yeah, sure.”
I know that made Jovan angry. His voice was deep when he replied. Dad goes in our room, unannounced.
“Hey, Dad.”
We greet him.
“Hey, are you two ready to go?”
“Yeah, we’re ready.”
I answer. I can finally take off this hospital gown. Why do patients have to wear these gay things? I look like a test subject or someone who is begging to get smacked. Jovan and I change out of the hospital gowns and into clothes that Dad brought. Then, we all walk out of our room and exit the hospital.
“I spotted a patient, who was trying to leave the hospital. He must have been crazy. I informed the nurses about the matter and they captured him.”
“How do you know he was a patient?”
“Because, he was wearing a hospital gown.”
“Oh.”
I think I know who Dad saw. Good luck, Tyler. We go inside Dad’s car and Dad begins to drive us home.
“I apologize for everything you experienced. I know that was a lot to handle all at once. I'm sure you both have questions and they will be answered when we get back to our house.”
Dad genuinely confesses. Wow, Dad apologized to us. This must have been a lot for him too. His kids got attacked by an alien without his knowledge and got introduced to another world where superpowers exist. He definitely has some explaining to do. We make it to our house and get out of the car. Dad uses his house key to unlock the door and we enter our house. Jovan and I start to go upstairs to our rooms.
“Where are you going?”
Dad orders and we stop walking.
“We're going to our rooms.”
I answer. Now, I’m not sure whether my answer was strange or not.
“I said that I would explain everything once we came home.”
“Yeah, I thought you meant later on.”
I didn’t assume that. I just didn’t know how to respond. Dad clearly thinks I’m mental, judging by the frustrated smirk on his face.
“Just follow me.”
Dad commands with an irritated tone of voice. We follow Dad and go downstairs to the basement. We basically go into our “activity room” where there are video games, game consoles, computers, food, and a big TV. I love this basement. I sleep in here more than my own room.
“What do you think he is going to show us?”
Jovan whispers.
“A supply of aliens that look like the one we fought on Monday.”
“Do you honestly believe what you just said?”
“Think about it, the alien hasn't done any damage since Monday. I refuse to believe that he just left our planet like the invader he is. He was defeated. More likely, captured. Our dad is the only person who knows the truth.”
“You're so dumb. We don’t even know whether he knows the truth or not.”
“He hinted back at the car, dingus. I'm just using my knowledge of anime and cartoons. With all the crazy shit that happened to us, I have to consider the idea of Dad being a bad guy. I know you've seen that situation before. It's messed up, but it happens.”
“What are you talking about behind my back and in a rude manner?”
Dad asks, sounding annoyed.
“Nothing.”
I answer with a slightly frightened voice.
“Don’t lie to me. It only pisses me off.”
“Okay, we're wondering what you are going to show us.”
I quickly state, so I don’t anger Dad. He is the devil when he gets angry. A smart devil.
“Isn't that obvious?”
Dad takes one step to his left. Is it obvious? We can't see what he’s trying to show us. Is it because he's fat? Jovan and I give each other nervous faces. If we could talk to each other through our minds, this is what we would be saying:
“What are you waiting for? Tell him!”
Jovan would try to convince me to tell Dad.
“No, I’M not going to tell him”
I would obviously say no.
“Why?”
“Because the reason we can't see what he’s trying to show us is because of his weight!”
“So? Our dad is a reasonable person.”
Jovan would make up an excuse.
“Okay, then you tell him. Tell him he's so big that we can't see what he's trying to show us.”
I would attempt to force the burden on him.
“Hell no.”
“Exactly!”
In the end, neither of us will say it to him. We're both too scared.
“Oh, give me a second.”
Dad realizes that we can't see anything and takes out a complex-looking remote. He presses a button and we see a high-tech door right away.
“Wait, it was just invisible?”
Jovan observes.
“To you, yes. The door was set to be invisible to everyone, except me. You could have just told me that you couldn’t see it.”
So, it wasn't because of his fat. It was because of a door setting. A setting that I didn't think was possible. Dad puts a code in the door and it opens. He walks through the high-tech door. We follow Dad and amble through the door. A light flashes before our eyes as we see a bunch of sophisticated items that we've never even seen before. It feels like we just walked into another world.
“Dude.”
“I know. 3005.”
We comment with a surprised looks. I am absolutely wrong. This is not a bunch of Darkseid looking aliens. It’s the future of technology! First, superpowers and aliens. Now, futuristic tech. Where are we? The door behind us automatically closes.
“Dad, are we time travelers now?”
“Shut up, don’t exaggerate what this is. This is just my special room. I just brought you here so you don’t deny what I’m about to tell you. And, don’t be the type of person, who asks ‘what is this?’ or ‘can I touch it?’. You can’t touch any of it.”
Dang, that sucks. He is as straightforward and strict as always.
“Isn’t it too late to deny what happened?”
Jovan surmises because of all of things that we have already seen.
“No, you could be so terrified and stubborn that you don’t accept reality. That fear and stubbornness is amplified when something you don’t expect happens. Some people are like that.”
“Oh.”
Jovan glances at me like I’m that type of person. Oh, he is gaping at me because how I reacted towards the Darkseid looking alien. Whatever, how I reacted is how most people would. Seeing an actual alien is on everyone’s ‘not going to happen’ list.
“Anyway, let me start by saying yes, you both have superpowers. Javon, you have superspeed and Jovan, you have eyes that give you enhanced combat and reflexes. The alien, who attacked you two, only fought you because of your superpowers. His name is Bane Everbleed.”
Bane Everbleed. I hate how that’s a cool name.
“He came here to get this.”
Dad mentions just as he saunters to another weird looking door that requires a code. He types in the code and sticks in a key that unlocks the door. Behind the door that Dad unlocked is another door that needs a password. Dad puts in the password and opens the door. Afterwards, another door stands in front of Dad.
“He came to get a door?”
“Really, you think he came for a door. I hope that was a joke.”
It was. I can never joke around Dad.
“Isn’t this a bit much?”
Jovan’s right. This is the third door that Dad has to unlock. No one has security this complicated.
“No, I'll tell you why in a minute.”
Dad responds as he shows the door his eye. After that, he steps on a strange looking floor mat.
“Weight: fat, Age: 38, welcome Tamba Sankoh.”
The door confirms and automatically opens itself. How can a computer insult someone? Did the door really just describe Dad by his weight and age?
“Dad, did you create this Ultron-acting door?”
“Javon, why would I create a door that insults me?”
“So, you didn’t make it.”
“No, a friend did it for me.”
That friend must love playing with his insides. And, not in the sexual way. We stroll through the door and see a small old fashioned safe. Really, he has all of this advanced security and what lies underneath it is one of its ancestors? Dad turns the dial on it and cracks the code after some time. Inside of the safe is a light blue box. Dad takes it out of the safe.
“Inside of this box is an artifact called the Aquos Crystal.”
Aquos Crystal, Everbleed mentioned that during our embarrassingly short battle.
“The Aquos Crystal has the ability to give you any kind of superpower and it is an unlimited energy source. Meaning, it can you an endless amount of power.”
HOLY SHIT! NO WAY! Any kind of superpower, unlimited energy source? That’s insane! With this, you could defeat Galactus or even rule the entire universe! The world, we walked into, just became more...
“It is up to us to protect the Aquos Crystal…”
“From everybody? Dad, we have no chance in hell of protecting that godly object from everybody.”
Hopeless.
“Dad, you know how many people or aliens are going to after something like this? Bane was the tip of the iceberg and we couldn’t beat him. You want us to protect this from aliens, who are probably going to be stronger than him?”
Jovan contributes to my argument.
“I know that, but that doesn’t mean we just hand the Aquos Crystal to them. It is too important to let it go into the wrong hands.”
“Those hands could be the hands of aliens like Thanos or the actual Darkseid. People will kill for something like this.”
“Don’t compare this to comics. This is not the same thing.”
“It’s hard not to with the situation that we are in! This is out of our league!”
“I understand that this is all new to you. Still, calm down and listen. You don’t know the situation you are in.”
“I don’t want to be in the situation I’m in! I did want some interesting things to happen, however I didn't expect any of this supernatural, only-in-anime crap.”
I start producing waterfalls from my eyes.
“Javon, stop crying. I know this is a lot to take in. Still, I need both of you to comprehend it and move on. Nothing is impossible and this world isn't the world you thought it was. You are about to find out what this world is really like. You will never longer be dense to it. You have to accept the reality you are in. Calm down. This is the first time that anyone came to get the Aquos Crystal. I’ve had it for 15 YEARS and this is the first time that anyone went for it. So, what does that tell you?”
Dad hugs me tight, which is something he doesn't do often. I continue to cry on Dad's chest.
“Not everyone knows about the Aquos Crystal.”
“Yes, so calm down.”
I cease crying little by little. I feel like I needed this. This talk. I couldn’t believe everything that has occurred. I tried to move past it, however my common sense got in the way. It's about time that I accept it. I relax and let go of Dad.
“Okay, so the situation isn’t as bad as I thought it was.”
Jovan admits after hearing all of that.
“Of course. You really thought that I would have you fight the entire solar system. You two must not trust me very much. And, don’t worry about your strength. I will train you until school restarts.”
“So, you will train us for three years.”
“What? No, a month and a half. Why did you assume that?”
“Because Yamarashi High School can’t be done in a month in a half.”
“It will be done in a month and a half.”
“How do you know?”
“I know the person, who is rebuilding it. Now, will you help protect the Aquos Crystal?”
Jovan and I both have determined and excited faces on. We're ready to take on the challenge. To begin a new chapter in our lives. In a way, this is the opportunity we have been waiting for.
“Yes.”
We slap each other's hand. I guess there are some positives to this. I could become a superhero. And, I could get a girl because of my superhero awesomeness. I wonder when the anime elements will kick in. With everything that has occurred so far, it won’t be long. This is going to be interesting. We get out of Dad’s secret room and hang out in the basement.
“Okay, training starts tomorrow. Be prepared.”
“Right!”
The next day, Jovan and I wake up at 7 AM and go down to the basement only to see our dad asleep.
“Dammit, I knew he would be asleep.”
I confirm with an unsurprised smirk. Jovan tries shaking him, yet it doesn't work.
“Dad. Dad. Dad.”
Jovan repeats.
“Yes.”
Dad says, half asleep.
“Can we please start training?”
“Sure, just give me twenty minutes.”
Dad immediately goes back to sleep.
“We have no choice, but to wait for him. His hibernation isn't finished yet.”
I start to go up the stairs and back to my room.
“Hibernation isn't all year.”
Jovan continues to tap him until he wakes up.
“Can you please let me sleep a little longer?”
“Alright.”
Jovan goes back to his room and Dad goes back to sleep. Two hours later...
“Welcome to the Training Room.”
Dad introduces us to a brand new room in the basement. We are speechless.
“How is he still fat when he has his own exercising room?!”
We both thought in our head.
“Let me give you a tour.”
Discussion (8)
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Once again this is going great. The way the dad is introduced and who he is, is cool. The only thing is at the beginning of the chapter they are still worrying about how to tell their dad even after it has been five days, making it seem like he has not been there to see them any. Then it said “Good thing that I had Dad bring this.” which means he had to come at some point and they have talked to him. Just try to restructure this discrepancy, to help things still make complete sense.
You are completely right. Again, thank you for reading this chapter. I will change that line immediately.
Again, nice chapter. I was having fun when I read it. The jokes we’re in place but I don’t know if it was intentional but you could have used “quiet” when the nurse was yelling at them. Also, the way you used the days of the week seemed off to me, I mean Mondays happen every week so it wasn’t that specific. The part where he was complaining about dying on those days was funny though, but you could’ve used “_ days ago” for it to be clearer when referring to past tense.
I don’t get it. What’s the problem? I thought I said that it was Saturday. And, you’re right, I made the nurse not say quiet on purpose.
Sorry I wasn’t able to point out the part. I was referring to when Jovan says after Jacob’s explanation was “He didn’t protect us on Monday” back there but then I noticed as just a small grammar problem when I reread it. It’s still in context but instead of ‘on’ you could use ‘last’ since it seems like Dad doesn’t protect them on Mondays in general. I think I sound like a grammar Nazi lol
Jacob? Oh you mean Javon. I see the error I made. Thank you, I’ll fix it immediately
Well, the hospital scene was definitely new(Captain obvious) and nurse Jennifer should watch out for Carol, in my personal opinion. Also, seeing that the side characters get some parts is nice for me.
The transitioning from the previous chapter did become lighter, starting with a light-comedy scene before heading to the main development. It’s a nice touch. I think I only noticed the change from Porcupine to Yamarashi in this chapter(correct if I’m wrong, no wait, maybe back in ch 1? I can’t remember). The possibility, if not certain, new characters and adventure in another school just after a few chapters seems fun to watch.
Thank for you reading it, like usual ;). Yeah, I changed the school name to Yamarashi because it is a Japanese school so I thought I should have a Japanese name. I do plan to introduce new characters. But, unfortunately, I don’t do adventures in another school until much later on. However, you can still look forward to future chapters. I’m not going to let down the few fans I have.