Twins 99 Volume 1 – How Heroes Start Chapter 1: The Unrealistic Becomes Realistic

My name is Javon Isaiah Sankoh. I live with my twin brother and my dad. My brother’s name is Jovan Evan Sankoh.

Our first day of high school starts tomorrow! This is a BIG moment! This could turn my colorless life around! I could become a popular guy and have a girlfriend. Yeah right…

Like I’d get THAT lucky. In middle school, I was a complete NOBODY. I just knew people. I only hung out with five people and they were all guys. That includes Jovan.

I couldn’t make friends with any girls. I made acquaintances, but they turned into strangers. I just don’t know how to talk to them.

Depending on the girl, you have to either be the sensitive and caring type or the aggressive type. I try to do a little of both, yet I fail in the process. Because, you also have to be social.

Last year in eighth grade, there was a pretty girl in my class, who I tried to be friends with. Her name was Carol Sanders. She was so cute. I had to be friends with her. Or at least try to be friends with her.

I walked up to her and she was struggling to carry her binder because she was also carrying large textbooks. Like a gentleman does, I offered my help.

“You need any help with that?”
Startled by my welcome, Carol’s binder and textbooks swept out of her hands like a tsunami.

Carol suddenly bowed her head in forgiveness.

“It's okay, uh, let me help you.”

Her apology caught me by surprise because a girl never apologized to me like that before.

I nearly blushed.

We both got on our knees and began picking up all the textbooks. Soon after, I saw her face. She was absolutely gorgeous with her clean, pearl-like skin. My eyes were glued to her. When Carol noticed, she immediately glanced away. For a very short time, we had eye-to-eye contact.

“So, are you new to this school?”

I asked so that I didn’t seem like a creep.

She nodded her steaming hot head which I assumed was a ‘yes’.

“How has your first day been so far?”

“Good...”

Carol answered as quiet as a mouse.

I barely heard what she said.

With her appearance, she’s a magnet to all the popular girls and guys. I’m lucky to be the first person to talk to her in this class.

“That’s good. I’ve been in this school for since sixth grade so if you need anything, feel free to ask.”

I kindly said as we finished picking up all the textbooks and set them on her desk.

Carol nodded again to thank me, and then she sat in her desk. I was still standing next to her, but she didn't pay any attention to me. I felt like I suddenly became a ghost.

“Hey, so what's your name?”

I said with a friendly tone to continue talking to her.

My question alerted her as her head lit up with embarrassment. Without any warning, she instantly got her seat and rose up to my ear like the wind lifted her up.

It's Carol Sanders~

With the voice of a fairy, she whispered her name into my ear.

It was so enchanting that it left me dizzy. A soft, angelic sound kept replaying itself in my head.

“It's… nice to meet you, Carol. I-i'm Javon.”

She was already attractive, yet she became more stunning just by talking to me.

“Um…”

Nervousness slowed my mind. All of a sudden, I imagined that I was talking to an idol. I couldn't think straight. Which led to this cliché…

I fell on Carol, causing her chair to skate away and her desk to drop like a rock.

We were on the floor and before I knew it, my tongue was….

Inside her mouth. And my hands were on her breasts.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!”

I immediately got off of her like my life depended on it.

With a red face full of mortification, Carol didn't respond. She only scurried away as fast as possible. As she scurried away, I saw tears fly from her eyes.

I was more worried about her than myself.

Pow!

I got punched in the face by a random, tall girl.

“YOU SHOULD DIE FOR WHAT YOU JUST DID!”

The girl screamed while the rest of the girls in class gave me furious and disturbed looks.

As I cried on the ground, I reached out my hand in the direction that Carol ran to.
That one thing messed up my chances with girls for the rest of middle school. Every girl assumed I was a disgusting pervert and didn't bother to talk to me. Thank god, that was only one year of middle school.

That's all behind me now!

High school has girls from several other schools. Not every girl will label me as a pervert. And, that’s one positive. A whole bunch of things can happen on the first day of school! It's time to start my boring life anew.

The next day, Monday, March 31, 2014.

Jovan and I wake up for our first day of school.

I feel ecstatic. I am about to go to high school. My life will change today.

We got dressed and prepared to leave for school.

"Do you two have everything you need?"

Dad asks, wanting us to be prepared for school.

"Yes."

An obedient answer from both of us.

“How are the uniforms?”

“Good.”

“Feels weird.”

Jovan and I share different opinions.

“What do you mean?”

Dad asks.

“This is the first time I've ever worn a uniform for school. I never even wore something like this to church.”

I explain while looking at my uniform.

“You never wore anything special to church.”

Jovan retorts.

“Yeah, but you're supposed to.”

My weak attempt at countering Jovan's statement.

“Well, get used to it. Uniforms are usually required in special schools; that's a good thing. I don't like how easy it was to get in the school. Nevertheless, a special school is a special school. It's a common thing in private schools.”

“And, anime.”

Jovan adds to Dad's response.

“You know anime gets them from real life Japanese schools, right?”

“Yes, I knew that.”

Jovan replies with a slightly irritated tone.

“Okay, because you made it sound as if uniforms are a concept that came from anime.”

Dad interprets the meaning behind his question.

“That's not what I meant.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I was just pointing it out. Javon, how's the uniform?”

Dad changes the topic to cool down Jovan.

“It fits on good. It doesn't look bad either. Black on black design.”

I proudly show off my black two-button blazer and black dress pants.

“Okay, simmer down with your black on black design. Especially, you, Jovan, I saw you touching yourself while looking at the mirror.”

“Hahaha!”

What Dad said made me laugh hard.

“I wasn’t doing that!”

“But, you do like the uniform.”

“Yes.”

Quickly understanding that Dad was joking, Jovan relaxes a bit.

“Exactly. Enjoy your first day of school.”

Dad wishes us luck.

"We will, bye."

We wave to Dad.

“Bye.”

With that, we exit our house and walk to our bus stop. We get on the school bus and eventually make it to school.

“Jesus, this school is huge.”

Jovan notes, alluding to the high school.

“You can say that again.”

We enter the school.

“Dang.”

“There's no way that all these people lived in America.”

Amazed at the amount of students in this school, we raise our eyebrows.

I guess we should have expected this.

“We should hurry to our classroom.”

“Yeah, before we get stuck in traffic.”

I agree, referring to the insane amount of students.

Later on, we enter our classroom on the third floor.

“Well, I didn’t expect that we’d be allowed to use the elevator. This school is new.”

Jovan puts his schedule in his pocket.

“I didn’t think so either. Our middle school saved the elevators for disabled/injured students. They probably did that because of the number of students in this school.”

I also put away my schedule as we enter the same classroom.

But, the elevator was just as packed as the hallways. There was a small line of students waiting to use it. It took us ten minutes to get up here.

“Yes, this class just got better.”

I know that voice!

It was none other than Jordan.

"Jordan! Awesome, we're in the same class once again!”

“You know it!”

I excitedly greet Jordan by slapping his hand then spiritedly gripping onto it for a cool handshake.

Thank goodness, Jordan is at this school. It wouldn't be the same without him. I've known him ever since the beginning of middle school.

“What's up, Jordan.”

“What's up, Jo.”

Jovan and Jordan welcome each other with the same handshake, grinning at each other as they do so.

“Look at you wearing black on black.”

“Right back at you. We look like ‘Men in Black’.”

Due to Jordan's retort to my comment, we both get a good laugh.

“How was your 10 month long summer/fall/winter break?”

I wonder since I haven't seen Jordan in a long time.

"It was fine. I went on to a few places with my mom and brothers. We had a good time."

“Nice.”

I nod my head, satisfied with his answer.

“How was your summer?”

...

“Let’s just say we didn’t do much.”

I reply while scratching my head

“What are your classes?”

Jovan changes the subject.

“Let's see...”

Honestly, I think our summer was awesome. Even so, most people would probably disagree with that. We just watched anime and played video games. We were practically hikikomoris. That’s a term I learned from anime. We were so lazy that Dad had to get us out of the house. This is a story we’d rather not tell people.

I look across the classroom and see none other than Carol Sanders.

Man, out of all people to be in the same class as me. Wow, the ten months sure have been kind to her. New, alluring hairstyle and a bookbag. She’s even more hot than the last time I saw her. I wonder if I still have a shot with her. No, stop, Javon! Of course, I don’t have a chance with her. I shouldn’t approach her. I wouldn’t want to make a scene in front of everyone. Plus, she probably hates me.

Jovan notices that I’m staring at Carol.

“And, those are my classes.”

Jordan finally finishes talking.

“I have to use the bathroom.”

Jovan mentions as if he wasn’t listening to Jordan.

As he exits the classroom, he gives me a wary expression.

“Hey, Ja, what your classes?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, my classes. Wait, where did Jovan go?”

Jordan draws my attention off of Carol.

“He went to the bathroom.”

Jordan answers.

“He better not be thinking of going for that Carol chick again. Did he forget what he did to her? Or his crying? No, he knows better. He won’t take that risk.”

Jovan reflects on what my future movements would be.

Later on, Jovan leaves the bathroom.

“Crap, class is going to start soon. I'm seriously going to be late on the first day of school.”

Jovan worries after looking at the time on his phone. Even so, he doesn’t run because of the ridiculous amount of students in the hallway.

“These people are so dumb. Just because the school is big doesn’t mean the classes are automatically hard to find.”

He believes as he hurriedly walks past plenty of students. What makes issues more difficult is the students are standing around and chatting with each other.

“Hey, watch it!”

“Anata no iiwake!”

“Rude, are you in a rush to find your manners?!”

Jovan went past some students and hits their shoulders. Subsequently, they respond negatively.

“What assholes. Like I was trying to bump into them.”

Jovan notes in his head, continuing to narrowly get past students as if he's in a crowded bus. He once again bumps into another student.

“Hey!”

The student calls out; Jovan ignores him and keeps moving.

“HEY!”

The angry student shoves Jovan to the floor with the power and of a body builder.

“Maldita, sea el empujo a ese tipo hacia abajo con una mano.”

“A fight already.”

“Dude, step back. Unless you want your heart to stop beating.”

Several students step out of the way, assuming a fight is about to occur.

The angry student looks down on Jovan.

“Say ‘Excuse me’.”

Sounding like a bully, the angry student demands Jovan. Jovan slowly rises off the floor. During which, a couple of students take out their phones just in case.

Right when Jovan stands on his feet, the student clenches his fat fist and tromps toward Jovan with evil intent in his brain.

With cold, dead eyes like a killer, Jovan stares at the student. Regardless, the student persists on walking to him.

Stomp.

After one step, the student freezes and switches to a terrified state. It’s as if the student stepped into a shadowy boundary where proceeding to Jovan would be lethal. A blue line separates him and clouds of darkness. Also, right below the line states:

“Death to all who cross this line.”

Terrified by this occurrence, the student is still like a statue. Everyone is curious as to why the student isn't pummeling Jovan. Some of them put their phones back in their pockets, having dissatisfied faces.

“Hehhhhh.”

A sigh comes out of Jovan.

“Excuse.”

“EXCUSE MEEEEEEE!”

Jovan is interrupted by an unknown yell of a female. Multiple students hurry to the walls when they spot a girl dashing through the hallway.

“COMING THROUGH!”

Dust follows her feet as she sprints past the students. The previously frightened student dives out of the girl's way.

“Hey, wait!”

Jovan entreats, unprepared for the girl.

Wham!

The girl crashes into Jovan, causing them to fall on the ground and dust to scatter throughout the hallway.

“Oww.”

Jovan persistently rubs his head to relieve the pain.

“Gosh, are you okay? I didn't mean to bump into you.”

The girl frets over Jovan's condition.

The dust clears. An angelic light shines down, revealing the girl's beautiful, breathtaking image as she lies on Jovan’s body.

“N-no, it's fine. I'm fine.”

Stunned by the girl's attractiveness, Jovan stumbles his words.

“Good.”

The girl nimbly picks herself up and off of Jovan.

“Come on, you have to get to class too, right?”

A radiant, teeth-showing smile combined with a happy tone puts Jovan at a loss for words. The girl receives an awkward gaze from him for an answer.

“Oh, yeah!”

He replies late but immediately stands up, appearing as if he didn't hear what the girl said.

The girl firmly grabs Jovan's hand.

“What's your class?”

“Room 3-Z.”

“Alright, let's go!”

The girl runs like the wind, producing dust behind her tracks which makes all the students behind her to cough. The girl's abnormal speed causes Jovan to go airborne and fly like a plane. More students move out of the girl's way when they see her.

“There's only one way.”

A male student speaks, sounding serious. After he spots the girl, he immediately rushes into a random classroom. He avoided the girl only by a few seconds.

“Ahhhhhhhh!”

The student screams while continuing to run like his life depends on it. He hops on a female student’s desk as she sleeps and makes a break for the window.

Splat.

Instead of cracking through the window, the student smacks into the window like a bird. At the moment that the student comes down from the window, the teacher and the rest of the students in the classroom relay blank stares to him.

“Are you in my class?”

The teacher queries.

“Ummmmmmmmm. Yes.”

“Get out.”

The teacher demands, detecting his lie.

At the same time, the girl’s race against time is still happening.

Exhilarated by the moment, the girl smirks with her teeth. In front of girl shimmers a small white light.

“We’re almost there!”

The clock is ticking, the number of students in the hallway are decreasing, and the classroom doors are closing. The white light gradually fades even as the girl closes the distance between her and it.

“I don’t know how, but she looks…”

A facially bruised Jovan catches a glimpse of the girl’s overjoyed face complimented by her dark but sparkling purple hair.

“Free…”

Jovan gazes in awe of her beauty.

Wham!

Jovan’s head smashes into the wall.

The girl takes her right hand out to reach the small white light. In that moment, the small white light emitted more light than ever. Everything becomes blank.

The school bell rings.

Jordan, Carol, the teacher, and the rest of the students are shocked by the girl's entrance, seeing large amounts of dust behind her.

“Well, at least you got here out time.”

The teacher points out a positive.

“Unfortunately, that effort rewards you with a trip to the nurse's office.”

“Wait, why? I'm doing fine. Just a little bit of dust on my hair.”

“That's way more than a little bit. Anyhow, it's not because of you.”

The teacher points to the dirty scratches and bumps across Jovan's face.

“Whoa, where did you get those bruises?!”

The girl asks, surprised by Jovan's injuries.

“From you.”

Jovan very bluntly affirms; he remembers how his head would constantly bang into the wall because of her abnormal speed.

“Oh, well, I'm sorry. Where can I find the nurse?”

“On the second floor in room 2-G.”

“Okay, I'm on it.”

“No running! Walk and use the elevator!”

The teacher demands after seeing the girl in a running pose similar to what Olympic participants do.

Jovan and the girl exit the classroom, both looking disappointed. Yet, Jovan looks at the girl weird for her demeanor.

“Oh, and head to the gym for the entrance ceremony! It's on the first floor!”

The teacher adds before they get far away.

“Okay, everybody, homeroom is in session. My name is Ms. Vedin and I will be your homeroom teacher. It will be a thrill to meet all of you and see what type of students you are. But before all that happens, you will be going down to to the gym for the entrance ceremony. But even before that, roll call.”

Ms. Viden commences to call students’ names.

“What the heck happened to Jovan?”

Curiosity flows through Jordan’s head.

“Jordan Clark.”

Ms. Vedin calls out.

“Here!”

Jordan responds.

“Carol Sanders.”

“Here.”

Carol communicates clearly.

“Alright, next is… Javon Sankoh.”

“Here.”

I reply while raising my hand.

Ms.Vedin spots my hand and strangely gazes at me.

Why is she looking at me like that?

I pretend not to notice by glaring out the window. Ms. Vedin continues to eyeball me like a zoo animal.

“Dude, what's the teachers deal? She's been staring at you for over a minute.”

Jordan speaks in Javon's ear.

“My deal is…”

Ms.Vedin announces after she hears Jordan's comment.

Geez, Jordan can't whisper for crap.

“I just realized that I have twins in this class.”

Most of the students gape in wonderment at Ms.Vedin for her statement.

“Really? Who are they?”

A student requests, eager to know.

“Javon and Jovan.”

Another student optimistically answers.

Wait, I've heard that voice before.

I view the right side of the classroom. One of the students nod their head to me as a greeting.

To be friendly, I nod my head back to him.

Heh, that's Sebastian.

“That's correct, how did you know that?”

Ms. Vedin inquires of Sebastian.

“Because, I've been in the same classes as them since the sixth grade. Ain't that right, Javon?”

Referring to our fellowship, Sebastian looks at me for confirmation.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s true.”

Embarrassed by everyone's awareness towards me, I smirk in a smug way.

“So, you really have a twin?”

“Where is he?”

Two students ask.

“Yup, I really have a twin. I have no clue where he is though.”

Actually, where is Jovan?

“He left with the girl covered in dust. He had a lot of scratches on him, but he'll be fine. You know despite the bruises he had, I could still see a resemblance between him and you.”

The teacher brags.

“Wow, that's impressive.”

Feeling as if I was insulted, I lower my voice.

It sounds like she just imagined me with Jovan's injuries.

“Not really, it's not hard to tell the difference between you and Jovan.”

A claim by Sebastian that confuses everyone in the classroom.

“Wait, so you two aren't identical twins?”

A student inquires of me.

“I mean I think we are. We do look pretty similar to each other.”

“You two look similar at first. But once I got to know you, it became easy to tell you apart. Jovan’s a lot more sarcastic.”

“And gay.”

Sebastian adds to Jordan's opinion in an insulting way.

“He's gay?”

A female student wonders, having a strangely happy grin.

“No, he isn't gay!”

I immediately shoot down the thought.

“He could've fooled me.”

“Shut up, Sebastian!”

I reply with a humorless tone.

“It's okay if he's gay, we're not sexist.”

A student behind Sebastian mentions, sounding ignorant and confident.

“You idiot, that's not what that means!”

Sebastian responds to the ignorant student.

Is that Thomas? Yeah, it is! Only he would say something dumb like that. And next to him is David!

“That other guy is correct. We're fine with gay people. We're also fine with gay love.”

The female student declares with a disturbing grin while looking up at the ceiling as if she's imagining something.

“What are you implying?!”

I fret, frightened by her remark.

“Jovan isn't gay.”

An assist from Jordan dyes down the class’ jokes.

“Thank you, Jordan.”

“What's it like, having a twin?”

Yet another question from a student.

“Well, it's definitely interesting. I can guarantee that much…”

A tall girl watches me talk to the other students in class. Her furious grin resembles that of a demon. She had ugly wrinkles, evil eyes, and dirty floating blond hair.

“So, he’s also in this school

“Okay, class, let me finish attendance.”

Ms. Vedin demands and the class quiets down.

Feeling in a good mood, I nod to Thomas and David. David nods back while Thomas does an unusual greeting where he's saluting to me.

I put my hands in my pockets and look out the window.

That felt nice. Ha, this school year could be awesome after all. I'll have to tell Jovan what happened. I'm sure he'll like who's in our class. I hope he is doing okay.

Concurrently, Jovan and the girl arrive at their destination.

“Here it is, room 2-G.

The girl confirms, anticipating the nurse to be behind the door.

“It's pretty easy to find the rooms. The number is the floor you're currently on and the rooms are set up in alphabetical order. Left from this room is 2-F and right from the room is 2-H. Whoever created the blueprints of this school is smart.”

The girl clarifies; she's happy to teach someone something.

Jovan, however, doesn't respond to the girl's explanation. He just stands there pouting, making his bruises appear larger.

“Still giving me the silent treatment. Come on, you haven't said a word since you said ‘From you’ in room 3-Z when I first realized that you got hurt from my running after I finished carrying you while running to room 3-Z at my fastest speed.”

“I wasn’t giving you the silent treatment.”

Not wishing to hear the girl's overly-long sentence, Jovan interrupts her.

“I just couldn't figure out how to start a conversation.”

Jovan confesses in his head.

“Now, you're not. I told you I was sorry.”

“She apologized for running into me. Not dragging me around like some doll. If I wanted to get beat up, I would've fought that other dick.”

Jovan turns his head the other way, now appearing to give the girl the silent treatment.

“It’s not like I planned to hurt you. I just wanted to get us to class.”

The girl’s indication of sympathy is revealed through her words and tone. In those two lines, Her mood literally went from up to down.

Noticing the girl's change in emotion, Jovan shows signs of concern for her.

The girl opens the door only to find no one inside.

“Dang, the nurse isn't here.”

Displaying minimal distress, Jovan puts his hands in his pockets

“Great, I'm going to have to walk around with these bad bruises and a blazer covered in dust.”

Jovan thinks to himself.

“I have I'll have to patch up your injuries.”

“Wait, you can?”

Staggered by the girl's declaration, Jovan briefly replies back to make sure she's telling the truth.

“Of course, that's when you talk.”

“I-i didn't mean it like that.”

“I'm kidding, yes, I can take care of your injuries. All the necessary supplies are here so there's nothing stopping me from healing your wounds. Besides one thing.”

Because the girl heard the sincerity in Jovan's voice, she cuts him off.

“What's the thing?”

“You know what it is. I'll be surprised you weren't taught this already.”

The girl awaits Jovan's answer, positive that he'll discover what she's talking about.

Jovan begins to rummage through the cabinets which puts the girl in a daze. Next, he goes under the beds. During this, the girl observes him. Bewilderment clouds her mind and is clearly on her face.

“He's actually searching for it………………………. Was I too vague? Should I have been more literal? Was I being inconsiderate of his intellect?”

The girl ponders about Jovan's behavior. Like a malfunctioning robot, the girl doesn't know how to respond to Jovan’s actions.

While the girl attempts to comprehend Jovan's activity, he enters the bathroom.

“There's a full bathroom in here. The nurse's office has a lot of space for an office. Just add an oven and this would basically be an apartment.”

Jovan remarks at the size of the bathroom.

“The bathroom should have a few items that are used to treat injuries. At home, the band aids are usually kept in here.”

Jovan commences to scour through more cabinets.

“Hey.”

The girl talks to Jovan in a way that doctors speak to patients when the doctors realize the patients have cancer.

“Yeah.”

“Here's a hint. The ‘one thing’ has something to do with…. manners.”

Afraid of how Jovan would respond, the girl pronounces it slow.

…..

No sound is made from the bathroom.

“Did you hear me?”

The girl sets foot in the bathroom.

At that exact time, she holds her arms due to the extremely cold temperature. Before the girl's very eyes is a dumbfounded Jovan. He is staring at the cabinet mirror with a blank stare. He's so lost that it appears as if an ominous, dark cloud is dropping hail on him, affecting the state of the bathroom and blowing the girl's hair.

“Hmph, hmph, hmph, hmph.”

Instead of being fearful of Jovan, the girl tries to hold in her laughter.

Jovan turns his head toward the girl at snail's pace

“Can you please treat my wounds?”

Some time passes. Now, the girl is taking care of Jovan's bruises as he sits on the bed.

“Hahahahahaha!”

However, the girl's chuckling is preventing her from doing any more work. She's repeatedly poking Jovan with a cotton tipped applicator. Bits of dust are descending on Jovan from the girl's hair.

“Uhhhh, she's beating me with a freakin cotton swab. I need to stop this before she creates more bruises. And, stains.”

Jovan determines based on the girl's actions.

“Can you?”

He pauses as soon as his eyes are directed toward the girl. The fact that their faces are inches away distracts him from his objective. After hearing him, the girl stops laughing little by little and ceases to touch him with the cotton tipped applicator.

“Yeah, what?”

Curious as to what Jovan wants, she puts her focus on him. They glare into each other’s eyes, producing an aura of lovers.

“Can we please move on from what I did?”

Jovan requests from the girl, redirecting his eyes away from her.

In spite of hearing him clearly, the girl does not answer. She consists on looking at Jovan which makes him anxious.

“No, hahahahaha!”

The girl bursts out laughing. As a result, Jovan gets annoyed.

“I-i'm sorry. It's just... First, you look for a nonexistent object and then you break down when you realize you were searching for nothing. You have to admit that's funny.”

While containing her laughter, the girl interprets Jovan's idiotic actions.

“That's exactly why I want you to forget it.”

Jovan indicates with a bitter voice.

“Why would I do that?”

The girl automatically shifts to a concerned tone of voice.

“Because….”

Due to having no explanation, Jovan hesitates.

“Because, it embarrassed you. That's not a good reason to forget about it. In fact, that's exactly why you should remember it.”

The girl states, rubbing Jovan with a gauze sponge.

“It's good to look back and laugh at yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. If you can remember and laugh at them, you've truly moved on from them. Instead of turning the memory into a sin, turn it into a lesson. That's how you become a better person from them.”

As she puts her reasoning into words, the girl finishes her work with the gauze sponge. Most of Jovan’s bruises disappear as a result.

Jovan looks down on the ground, indicating that he is considering the girl’s words of wisdom. The girl takes out bandages, and starts placing them on the most damaged areas of Jovan's face.

“In your case, this is more like a silly story that'll leave people on the ground, laughing.”

The girl places medium-sized bandages on his forehead, left cheek, and a small bandage on his right cheek. Jovan loses his composure following the girl’s previous statement

“But I can definitely use it to teach you proper manners. So, don't forget about it, okay.”

Brimming with confidence in Jovan, the girl gives him a bright, warm smile. It was as if the sun was beaming down on Jovan. Entranced by the girl, Jovan is at a loss for words.

“Okay. Thanks… What's your name?”

Jovan asks.

“Errrrrrrrrr.”

The girl crosses her arms into an x.

“What?”

Jovan wonders, feeling like he said something wrong.

“It's ‘May I have your name?’.”

The girl facetiously corrects Jovan.

“Uh, alright. May I have your name?”

He quickly gets over her revision of his sentence.

“Sure, my name is Selena Vanle. And yours?”

“It's Jovan Sankoh.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you.”

Selena holds out her hand, expecting a handshake.

“You too.”

Jovan and Selena shake hands in a friendly manner.

“Aaaaaaaaa-chew!”

Selena sneezes on Jovan, getting dust on him.

Jovan glances at Selena with annoyed look and spots dust all over her hair and blazer.

“You should get cleaned.”

A suggestion that Jovan doesn’t take lightly at all.

“I would agree if that wasn't the hardest task in the world.”

“What are you talking about? It's not that difficult. There were some areas I couldn’t reach, however you don't need them to complete the task.”

“That's because your level was higher. It takes forever to explore the dungeon at my level.”

Thomas and David discuss a video game, having different opinions on the game. For the time being, everyone in class is chatting.

“Thomas, I'm telling you. If you start over and take more time leveling up and acquiring weapons and gear, it's easier.”

“Okay, class, listen up!”

Ms. Vedin demands, interrupting Thomas, David, and everyone else's conversations.

“In a few minutes, we will be heading down to the gym for the entrance ceremony. In case you don't know what that is, an entrance ceremony is basically a formal congratulations for entering our school.”

“We're being congratulated for doing nothing?”

Jordan, Sebastian, Thomas, David, and I interpret Ms. Vedin explanation in our heads.

“The principal and staff explain the purpose of this school along with the rules and expectations of the students. At the end, you all will be given a special badge to add to your uniforms. Then, you and your parents are free to ask. Which reminds me, which of you have parents who are attending the entrance ceremony?”

A couple of students raise their hands in response to Ms. Vedin’s question.

“Alright, I gotta make sure they get a reserved seat.”

Ms. Vedin goes over to her desk.

Seems like this first day of school will be different from other schools. For one thing, I don't think other high scholars are getting a ceremony for entering their school. Well maybe if they had to take an exam to get in their school, they would probably have this entrance ceremony.

“Attention! Students on the fourth floor, head down the gym immediately! Only students on the fourth floor!”

A voice commands through the speakers on the ceiling.

Moments following the announcement, the fourth floor becomes noisy. So noisy that the entire class can hear the steps of the students above them more than themselves.

“Geez, those boys are so loud. You'd think a riot was happening up there.”

The tall girl states, assuming the boys are responsible for the noise.

Even though the boys aren't the only ones moving around.

Everyone in class still heard what the tall girl said; She wasn’t yelling either. Frustrated by her remark, Sebastian sends a disgusted look her way.

Ah crap, that tall girl is the ‘other’ Carol. She was a pain in the ass in eighth grade. I got to make sure she doesn’t notice me. Or else, I’m screwed!

While Ms. Vedin works on her computer, she spots a raised hand.

“Yes?”

“Um, why do the students on the fourth floor get to go to the gym first?”

“I'm sorry, what?”

Since she didn't hear the voice, Ms.Vedin stands up to see the person who raised his/her hand.

“She said ‘How come the students above us head down to the gym first?’.”

The ‘other’ Carol repeats with a louder voice. The raised hand belonged to Carol.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you the first time.”

“It’s okay. Thanks, Karel.”

In a forgiving, kind manner, Carol responds right away.

“You’re welcome.”

Karel appreciates Carol’s thanks.

“To answer your question, the reason that the top floor heads down first is because it takes longer. The amount of time it takes to go to the gym decreases as it goes from the fourth floor to the ground floor. The principal thought it would be easier to get upper floors down first so everyone doesn’t wait too long when the ceremony is prepared. Plus, the ruckus made from going to the gym will lessen on the second and ground floor.”

Ms.Vedin clarifies, despite the racket from the fourth floor interfering with her explanation.

“Um, sorry, could you explain that again?”

Carol requests, not hearing most of what she said.

“I’ll tell you later.”

Ms.Vedin replies, not wanting to be interrupted again.

I guess we’ll have to wait out the noise until it’s our turn to head down to the gym. I wonder how big the gym is. With this many students, it has to be huge.

“So, how long do you think this noise will last?”

David asks of Thomas’ opinion.

“What?!”

Thomas yells since he didn’t hear what David said.

“I said ‘So, how long do you think this noise will last?’.”

“How long kids toys eat ass?!”

Thomas’ terrible attempt at interpreting what David said.

“Wha? No! Where did you even get that from?”

Irked by Thomas’ response, he speaks louder.

“From what you said!”

“No, you didn’t!”

Thomas’ answer was denied right when he said the word ‘said’.

“I said ‘how long do you think this noise will last?’.”

“How toys were in the past?!”

“No! Why you do keep saying toys?!”

David’s voice skyrockets once again.

“Cause you’re saying toys!”

“No, I’m not! You’re probably making up stupid queries based on the syllables of my words!”

“I didn’t realize I was in English class!”

Aggravated by Thomas’ last comment, David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“I SAID ‘HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS NOISE WILL LAST?!’.”

Louder than a bat, David shouts to the top of his lungs.

“OH, THAT”S WHAT YOU SAID! MY BAD! MY ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS UNTIL WE STOP TALKING!”

“THANK YOU! Wait, what?”

David glances behind him with a bewildered expression.

The classroom is absolutely silent when David stops talking. The entire class was gaping at Thomas and David. Excluding me, Jordan, and Sebastian, the students all had produced an air of uneasiness. They appeared as if they were viewing two aliens.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?”

Karel’s rude comment makes David even more shy and nervous. He is like a twitching statue. As for Thomas, he tries to act unflustered even though he is sweating immensely.

“Students on the third floor can now head down the gym! Third floor students only!”

After the announcement finishes, David faints due to the overwhelming humiliation.

“This gym is HUGE.”

“And, I thought this school was lofty from the outside.”

Jordan and Sebastian comment at the size of the gym.

They aren’t lying at all. It looks like it would take me ten minutes to run to the stage. How much money was invested into this school?!

As we head toward our seats, I spot David hiding behind Sebastian like an unsociable cat.

“Are you okay?”

I ask David, worrying about his condition.

I hope that yelling thing didn’t get to him too much. He gained consciousness only a few minutes ago.

“He doesn’t like gyms.”

Thomas defends David.

“Okay, are you good? You’re surprisingly calm for a guy who had a heart attack.”

I exaggerate to get a reaction out of him.

“I didn’t have a heart attack.”

“You almost did. Right after David fainted, you got on your knees and held your heart as you took a bunch of small breathers. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve assumed a baby was coming out of you.”

I note, remembering how the scenario went.

“Shut up, Ja-Jovan.”

“It’s Javon.”

“Whatever, David doesn’t like gyms.”

Thomas switches the topic; he pouts like a child.

“That doesn’t explain why he is standing behind Sebastian like a frightened chihuahua.”

“He doesn’t like people in gyms.”

Sebastian replies; although his reason doesn’t help.

“What?”

I cannot comprehend any of their logic.

“Is he claustrophobic?”

Jordan questions, sounding as if the answer was obvious.

“Yeah. That.”

Sebastian slowly confirms like he didn’t know.

“Why didn’t you say so?”

I demand, feeling frustrated.

“What do you mean? I said he doesn’t like gyms.”

“Gyms have NOTHING to do with being claustrophobic.”

I immediately correct Thomas’ unreasonable statement.

Our class follows Ms. Vedin to the fourth last row in the left section of the gym and sit down.

Man, this gym seems even bigger when you sit down. There are so many rows of chairs.

“I h-h-have agoraphobia, not cl-cl-cl-claustrophobia.”

Experiencing the effects of his fear of crowds, David rectifies Thomas’ earlier utterance.

“I know. That word is just so hard to say that I call it claustrophobic.”

Thomas’ thoughtless reasoning put David in an angry mood; however David momentarily alternates to his fearful state due to the amount of people.

“Okay, I'm going to help set up the ceremony. You all wait until it starts.”

Ms. Vedin walks away and discusses the entrance ceremony with other teachers.

“Hey, you, whichever one you are.”

The tall girl rudely gets my attention after turning around to my direction.

“What is it, ‘other’ Carol?”

I ask, afraid of what she is going to say.

“My name is Karel!”

She gets infuriated by my question.

“That’s exactly what I said.”

“No, it isn’t! Look, you aren't anything special. You're just a pervert in the shadows. But, I will make sure you're out of the shadows so that everyone knows the type of person you really are. Stay away from Carol.”

As soon as she finished her confession of hate, Karel turns back around and changes her mean expression to a kind one when she faces Carol.

Ah, what the hell?! I didn’t even talk to Carol! Is her goal in life is to ruin mine?! Dammit, what am I gonna do? She’s going to inform people about last year. Uhhhh my god, right when I thought this school year was going to be okay, She-man comes in and destroys that possibility.

On the outside, I seem fine to everyone, yet I'm crying on the inside.

Meanwhile, Jovan waits patiently on a bed; Selena is currently taking a shower.

He uses this time to text Javon ‘I'll be there soon’ on his phone.

“According to the announcements, students are still being sent down to the gym which means the entrance ceremony hasn't started yet.”

Jovan recalls back to the last time he heard the announcements.

“Second floor students can head down to the gym! Second floor students only!”

Another message is relayed to the school.

“But, it's almost ready. I need to get there quick. With all the people in this school plus the parents, the seats will be gone fast.”

Jovan concludes in his head.

“Woooo! That took longer than expected.”

Jovan blushes, hearing the water stop along with Selena’s voice.

Selena carefully gets out of the shower. Steam overflows the bathroom, making it misty. She puts on a towel, covering her wet, burning body. After wiping the fog off of the cabinet mirrors, She can now see herself.

“Good, I got the dust out of my hair.”

Selena happily guarantees by looking at her drenched, eggplant-colored hair.

Subsequent to viewing her clothes, she notices that her blazer is the only part of her uniform that has dust on it.

During the time that Selena gets ready, Jovan anxiously anticipates her return.

“This morning feels like an entire day. So much has already happened, and it all revolved around that girl, Selena. I already feel tired. At least I made a friend. Regardless of how nervous I was around her at first. I even learned something from her. This year will definitely be interesting. Which reminds me, I hope Javon’s talk with Carol went well.”

Although he has a plain, normal expression, he feels that today’s events are satisfactory.

Ssssssssssssss.

The sound of steam being unleashed when the bathroom door is opened. The steam nearly reaches Jovan’s area; he fans it away from him. Selena’s figure can be seen through the steam.

“Alright, I’m ready.”

Selena emerges out of the bathroom clean and fully dressed.

“Great, let’s head down to the gym. You look good.”

Jovan hurries to the exit, aiming not to stare at Selena.

“Wait. You’re bringing your blazer?”

That bothers Selena because of the dust on it.

“Yes, speaking of which, where is yours?”

“In the washer.”

“There’s a washer in the nurse’s office?”

Jovan comments promptly due to hearing an odd fact.

“Yup, and a dryer. So, put your blazer in the washer and we’ll get them near the end of school.”

“Okay, then.”

Weirded out by the coincidence, Jovan replies with an unsure voice.

He takes off his blazer and hands it to Selena.

“I’ll put in the washer.”

Selena goes into a room right next to the bathroom and places Jovan’s blazer in the washer with hers.

“This room is too big to be an office.”

Jovan concludes in his mind.

“Students on the ground floor can now go to the gym! The students who are still in class!”

Following that, Selena dashes out of the laundromat room. Before Jovan knew it, his hand was clasped in Selena’s hand, and his body was in the air.

Chikum!

The door slams and they are out of the nurse’s office.

“Whoa, why are you running?!”

Jovan asks, worrying about his safety.

“We need to blend in with the crowd.”

Selena explains while in her running motion.

“Not this again. It’s like she forgot the reason we came to the nurse’s office in the first place.”

Jovan notes in his mind.

Time passes, and the gym was starting to fill up. The only available seats were in the far right row. There was an seven whole rows in the back of the gym reserved for parents.

Where the heck is Jovan? He said he would be here.

“What is taking Jovan?”

“He must be banging that dust bunny.”

Jordan and Sebastian comment on Jovan’s absence.

“Dust bunny?”

I wonder about Sebastian’s strange nickname.

“He left with a girl covered in dust.”

“Oh.”

I have a lot of questions for him when he gets here.

At the entrance of the gym, Jovan and Selena are standing with an unknown class; they are waiting for the line to move.

“Thank you for using the elevator.”

In contrast to the last time Selena ran with Jovan, he received no bruises and no stains. His white short sleeved dress shirt is spotless, tie included.

“You expected me to take the stairs?”

“Hey, I’m just saying ‘thank you’.”

“I wasn’t going to dirty myself a second time. I just took a shower.”

Selena adds, feeling slightly insulted.

“Come on, let’s sit with that class.”

Selena and Jovan walk behind the class in front of them and sit with them.

It wasn’t too long until all the seats were filled. Promptly, a man in a black suit saunters across the stage and grabs the microphone.

“Hello, everybody. Thank you, parents, for coming out to your children's entrance ceremony. My name is Jack Lee, and I'm the vice principal of this school. In case you didn’t know, this ceremony will explain the purpose of Yamarashi High and the expectations of the students. This will also give the students and parents a chance to meet the teachers and staff. We want all of the students here to feel welcome and safe here. I’m sure that all the staff concur with me on that. Including the woman behind this amazing school. Everyone, please welcome the principal of Yamarashi High School.”

Everyone begins to clap their hands as a woman shows up from behind the curtains. The woman takes the microphone from the vice principal and he ambles off the stage.

“Hello, everybody, my name is Yusa; I'm the principal of this school. Before I start, I want to apologize to all the parents in the building for delaying your children’s education. I promise I have good justification for that. As the creator of this school, I couldn’t afford to make any nonsensical decisions. And yes, I’m the creator of this school. Let me tell about this school that I created without my bare hands.”

The adults in the crowd giggle subsequent to the principal’s last sentence. The principal starts to stroll around the stage.

“Yamarashi High has everything a regular high school would have, just updated. It has multitudinous classrooms, elevators for everybody to use, a cafeteria with delicious and healthy food, a vast field for outdoor activities, a safe pool, and this giant gym. Yamarashi High is currently the newest high school in the United States. However, it is more than a new school. It is a Japanese school.”

Some of the students gasp in shock. A few of them were so surprised that they fell out of their seats.

“What?! This is a Japanese school!”

“I didn’t sign up for this! How is this in America?!”

The reactions of two ill-mannered students.

“All of your questions will be answered so, please be patient and sit down.”

Everyone stares at the two students, waiting for them to sit down. In a childish fashion, the two students sit back in their seats with angry grins.

“How dare you do do that in front of so many people?”

Both of the ill-mannered students are slapped across their faces.

“Owww, damn, mom, that hurt.”

The ill-mannered student complains to his mother with a bright red handprint on his cheek.

“What the? You’re not my mom.”

The other ill-mannered student verifies.

“Do I need to be?”

The adult smacks the other ill-mannered student again for his insolence.

“Yamarashi High will be the first American school to enforce Japanese rules and culture. That's why your children’s education was delayed. That is also the reason why they are wearing those uniforms. Students will be required to wear those everyday. Of course, we won't enforce every single rule a normal Japanese school has.”

Jovan glares to my left and notices that Selena is fully entranced by the principal’s speech. She is like an excited little kid unlike numerous other boys who are either bored out of their mind or exasperated.

“For example, the grades on this school will continue to go from ninth to twelfth. Students have to attend school from Monday through Friday. Like usual, school will start at 7:30 AM and end at 2:15 PM. The classes offered at regular high schools are available here. The same goes with clubs except the quantity of clubs the students can join is multifarious.”

“She is saying way too many words I don’t know.”

Thomas doesn’t discern some of the vocabulary the principal is using.

“Basically, this high school is a regular school combined with a Japanese school. Ultimately, this is an experiment to see if Japan's education methods work. That is what the government will tell you. I am a genuine fan of Japanese culture. That is why this school is here today. I truly believe that knowing it can only benefit the students of this country. Just think of it as extra, fun schooling. For you otakus out there, this is a dream come true. All of your wildest fantasies could come true.”

Just like that, Sebastian, Thomas, David, and a great deal of boys widen their eyes and pay more attention to the principal as if she divulged the most important life lesson.

“I can’t believe she said that.”

Jovan and I both utter in our heads despite being in different areas of the gym.

“What’s an otaku?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

Jovan’s dishonesty can be heard from his voice

“That’s the end of my speech. Now, teachers and staff, come up and introduce yourselves.”

The teachers and staff all stand up and commence to go to up to the stage.

Boom!

All of the sudden, the gym entrance explodes, leaving a substantial hole and sizeable amounts of debris around it. Everyone automatically turn their heads to see what happened. Everyone, including me and Jovan, is afraid as if a massacre is about to occur. All movement has ceased except for….

A blue alien.

Discussion (23)

    1. Profile photo of Strovist
      Strovist

      Hi Javon. It’s been a while. Been very busy with Uni but managed to find some time to read this edition. Well for starters, I find that this is a huge improvement. It’s so much easier to read the story now. There’s a clear flow in character interaction and I like how you spur up a surprise at the very end. (That principle Otaku dream come true speech… I feel you there man.) This is an interesting fantasy setting I have not come across. A blend of Japanese and American High school? Can’t wait to see the ensuing chaos haha.

      I just have one question before I go – I know this is fantasy, but is there going to be magic, science fiction? Or are you going instead for a cultural blend of sorts? (That’ll be actually quite interesting btw)

      Cheers!

    2. Profile photo of Strovist
      Strovist

      Hi Javon. It’s been a while. Been very busy with Uni but I managed to find some time to read this edition. Well for starters, I find that this is a huge improvement. It’s so much easier to read the story now. There’s a clear flow in character interaction and I like how you spur up a surprise at the very end. (That principle Otaku dream come true speech… I feel you there man.) This is an interesting fantasy setting I have not come across. A blend of Japanese and American High school? Can’t wait to see the ensuing chaos haha.

      I just have one question before I go – I know this is fantasy, but is there going to be magic, science fiction? Or are you going instead for a cultural blend of sorts? (That’ll be actually quite interesting btw)

      Cheers!

  1. Profile photo of
    Lolah Runda

    @Javon, I just read though everything but I got a little lost, first is the Twin 99 story a memoir about your life or is it a fantasy? because of what I read at the beginning. Second you mentioned the Usui mode/effect what is it about since I’m guessing its like an anime/manga character’s behavior, third the super power effect was it supposedly real although at the end it was mentioned it wasn’t and that got me very confused.
    Overall at the beginning you were able to garner my interest in your story, to me it felt as though an anime had taken the form of a book, I see why you need an illustrator for your work, sadly I don’t know any that could have helped you but if ever I find one I’ll refer them to you or vice versa.

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read the first chapter of my light novel! And, to answer your question, it is a fantasy. Usui mode is an idea I got from a character named Takumi Usui who is in an anime called Maid Sama. I referenced him because girls love him in the show and he always flirts with the main character so you are right on it being like an anime/manga character’s behavior. Can you explain how I got your interest and what exactly confused you? Because, the main characters didn’t know they had superpowers until the end of the chapter. Is that what confused you? Again, thank you!

  2. Shafin Barshan

    Its funny. Nice Job.

    I was wondering, why is the name of this light novel, “Twins 99”. I know why you selected the Twins part, but what’s with 99 exactly?

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thank you so much, and could you get other people to read it if possible. I would really appreciate it. I want everyone’s opinion on it. Did you understand it? Do you know what’s going on? What did you find funny? Sorry, I’m asking so many questions. I just want to make sure that my light novel has a chance of being popular in the future. And the 99 is just to make it sound cooler. Also, because I was born in 1999.

  3. Shafin Barshan

    I understand how you feel. Because, I(along with a friend) have been writing a few light novels(incomplete) for the past few months, and we were desperate to publish it in hope it gets popular enough to turn into an anime. We still haven’t published it yet, but recently I came across this website. Anyways I probably understand why you want opinions. You probably want people to point out flaws, so that you can correct them and make it better. You want people to point out the good things(they liked) so that you can add more of that good elements in the future. Something like that(I guess). Anyways that’s my stupid mouth babbling stuff all the time. Sorry, I will get to the point.

    Will I give you an Analysis of the first chapter? I mean the components I liked and stuff?

  4. Shafin Barshan

    I really like how you made references to manga and anime, and the cliches. It’s always nice to have an amusing, jocular and light-hearted first chapter(unless your story is intended to be very gory and dark all the way through). Anyways, you put good humor on the character speeches. And I must admit, you executed some really good dialogues there. And you nicely played with the characters’ names. And the chapter(honestly) wasn’t at all boring to read.[probably cuz it was light and amusing all the way through]. Keep up the good work or rather excellent work.

    And now for a small flaw(probably not that important)— It’s TOTALLY my personal opinion. But are you sure about the excess use of profanity? Like I said, it’s completely my personal opinion. You don’t exactly have to take this into account if you think the amount of profanity is negligible.

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thank you very much! And, I don’t plan on using as many bad words as I did on chapter 1. Again, thank you! I will take everything you said into account for my future chapters.

  5. Profile photo of Ayumi Megumi
    Ayumi Megumi

    Nice! I actually find this very amusing to read. The story is feels light and the way how you make the lines are very good. The cliches are in a and gives it a slapstick comedy like genre also the parodies you used are totally in place. One problem though is that in reading you can’t easily get the references(parody) and have the writer answer it like how I don’t know much about the Darkseid guy or didn’t get the Usui reference at first (there’s also Usui aka Switch from Sket Dance and got them confused) so it’s better if you would be more careful with that or you could come up someway to give information like putting descriptions at the end of the chapter.

    Also since, I read some lighhg novels about making light novels (Like Eromanga-sensei or I’m a highschool boy and a best selling light novel author, strangled by my female classmate, who is a junior and a voice actress) and editing my friend’s novel, I could say that spacing between appropriate lines are important so they don’t look too cramped.

  6. Profile photo of The A.C.
    The A.C.

    First this is hilarious, and the main character seeming so nerdy by using so many references is awesome. The way this doc is formatted though could help make everything more clear when reading it; there were just times I was not sure who was saying what at first. After looking at others comments, I agree that it would be cool to have some kind of descriptions at the end of the chapter for all the references. Good job though, it really gave me a good laugh, and made me look forward to the other chapters.

  7. Profile photo of Ayumi Megumi
    Ayumi Megumi

    Seen some… nice(?) progress/changes here. I don’t know if it was already there in the first place because of my bad memory, but the funny parts are more detailed and even more hard to read with a straight face. Good job.

    1. Profile photo of Ayumi Megumi
      Ayumi Megumi

      I guess everything was changed? Now that I’ve finally read it properly, it’s still funny and the RomCom parts seemed more appropriate. We got some proper scenes from Selena and Carol seemed more of a tsundere rather than a bitch.(no offense) And, I’ve always had to be alert to notice the difference between Javon and Jovan, but the new(?) names helps. The fight scene was cut short but still a good cut/transition.

  8. Profile photo of Strovist
    Strovist

    Excellent blend of 1st and 3rd person narratives. I can learn something from this. Very nice portrayal of actions and thoughts. So far everything is free and easy to follow, and its a very comfortable read. Keep it up!:)

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it! I have big plans for this light novel so your review of it is really helpful. The problem for me is just getting it out there. If possible, could you tell people about my light novel? I also have it on wattpad. I won’t be completely selfish. I will read your light novel and tell you what I think of it.

      1. Profile photo of Strovist
        Strovist

        Haha no worries:) I’ll let my reader friends know. Don’t worry so much about it. You have uploaded plenty of content for new readers to follow up on. It’s a good read and ppl tend to be more encouraged to read your story when you have at least 10 chapters available for following. Keep up the good work! I’ll wait in anticipation for your great plans:)

        1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
          Javon Sankoh Post author

          Okay, again, thank you. I will keep up the good work. I promise I won’t disappoint you. This light novel is WAY different from others. It will have epic battles, good plot, clever drama, and consistent comedy. This light novel will cross lines others haven’t. I know I can’t guarantee anything, but I really think my novel could be up to par with light novels like Swort Art Online and manga like Naruto one day. However, I can guarantee this. NO ONE has read a novel like mine 😉

  9. Profile photo of Luis Aleman
    Luis Aleman

    So here you use more dialogue and less description than in the prologue. At times I can’t really tell so much what the characters are thinking or what their body language says about them. One thing you can do is add some introspection so we can really get into the main character’s head. This way we can feel a more intimate connection and find them more relatable.
    I don’t really know if starting off by naming yourself and such is a good way to hook readers because there isn’t much to pique interest. The beginning does start off like a memoir and not so much like an actual novel. Maybe switching to 3rd person POV would work better or improving on 1st person pov techniques.
    You don’t have to include all dialogue that happens. If it doesn’t serve to drive the plot forward or if it’s just small talk and such you can skip it entirely. The dialogue does sound pretty unnatural too. You can cut out things like “Nevertheless”.
    The first cliche you introduced I found it a bit… uncomfortable to read through. I think readers would enjoy more if cliches weren’t thrown in because we’ve all seen them and frankly, they are annoying. This goes for making references to anime and manga as well. You could lose potential readers with references they no nothing of, so it would be best to go on without them. It can also come across you trying to ride off the success of other works of fiction which is a big “no-no”.
    The pacing is also pretty fast and dialogue dominates the prose. I was lost at times trying to figure out what the characters were thinking or how they were feeling. Try improving it so it also won’t read like a script. Try reading more books too whether fiction or not to get an idea how other writers do prose and character introspection.

Discussion (23)

    1. Profile photo of Strovist
      Strovist

      Hi Javon. It’s been a while. Been very busy with Uni but managed to find some time to read this edition. Well for starters, I find that this is a huge improvement. It’s so much easier to read the story now. There’s a clear flow in character interaction and I like how you spur up a surprise at the very end. (That principle Otaku dream come true speech… I feel you there man.) This is an interesting fantasy setting I have not come across. A blend of Japanese and American High school? Can’t wait to see the ensuing chaos haha.

      I just have one question before I go – I know this is fantasy, but is there going to be magic, science fiction? Or are you going instead for a cultural blend of sorts? (That’ll be actually quite interesting btw)

      Cheers!

    2. Profile photo of Strovist
      Strovist

      Hi Javon. It’s been a while. Been very busy with Uni but I managed to find some time to read this edition. Well for starters, I find that this is a huge improvement. It’s so much easier to read the story now. There’s a clear flow in character interaction and I like how you spur up a surprise at the very end. (That principle Otaku dream come true speech… I feel you there man.) This is an interesting fantasy setting I have not come across. A blend of Japanese and American High school? Can’t wait to see the ensuing chaos haha.

      I just have one question before I go – I know this is fantasy, but is there going to be magic, science fiction? Or are you going instead for a cultural blend of sorts? (That’ll be actually quite interesting btw)

      Cheers!

  1. Profile photo of
    Lolah Runda

    @Javon, I just read though everything but I got a little lost, first is the Twin 99 story a memoir about your life or is it a fantasy? because of what I read at the beginning. Second you mentioned the Usui mode/effect what is it about since I’m guessing its like an anime/manga character’s behavior, third the super power effect was it supposedly real although at the end it was mentioned it wasn’t and that got me very confused.
    Overall at the beginning you were able to garner my interest in your story, to me it felt as though an anime had taken the form of a book, I see why you need an illustrator for your work, sadly I don’t know any that could have helped you but if ever I find one I’ll refer them to you or vice versa.

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read the first chapter of my light novel! And, to answer your question, it is a fantasy. Usui mode is an idea I got from a character named Takumi Usui who is in an anime called Maid Sama. I referenced him because girls love him in the show and he always flirts with the main character so you are right on it being like an anime/manga character’s behavior. Can you explain how I got your interest and what exactly confused you? Because, the main characters didn’t know they had superpowers until the end of the chapter. Is that what confused you? Again, thank you!

  2. Shafin Barshan

    Its funny. Nice Job.

    I was wondering, why is the name of this light novel, “Twins 99”. I know why you selected the Twins part, but what’s with 99 exactly?

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thank you so much, and could you get other people to read it if possible. I would really appreciate it. I want everyone’s opinion on it. Did you understand it? Do you know what’s going on? What did you find funny? Sorry, I’m asking so many questions. I just want to make sure that my light novel has a chance of being popular in the future. And the 99 is just to make it sound cooler. Also, because I was born in 1999.

  3. Shafin Barshan

    I understand how you feel. Because, I(along with a friend) have been writing a few light novels(incomplete) for the past few months, and we were desperate to publish it in hope it gets popular enough to turn into an anime. We still haven’t published it yet, but recently I came across this website. Anyways I probably understand why you want opinions. You probably want people to point out flaws, so that you can correct them and make it better. You want people to point out the good things(they liked) so that you can add more of that good elements in the future. Something like that(I guess). Anyways that’s my stupid mouth babbling stuff all the time. Sorry, I will get to the point.

    Will I give you an Analysis of the first chapter? I mean the components I liked and stuff?

  4. Shafin Barshan

    I really like how you made references to manga and anime, and the cliches. It’s always nice to have an amusing, jocular and light-hearted first chapter(unless your story is intended to be very gory and dark all the way through). Anyways, you put good humor on the character speeches. And I must admit, you executed some really good dialogues there. And you nicely played with the characters’ names. And the chapter(honestly) wasn’t at all boring to read.[probably cuz it was light and amusing all the way through]. Keep up the good work or rather excellent work.

    And now for a small flaw(probably not that important)— It’s TOTALLY my personal opinion. But are you sure about the excess use of profanity? Like I said, it’s completely my personal opinion. You don’t exactly have to take this into account if you think the amount of profanity is negligible.

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thank you very much! And, I don’t plan on using as many bad words as I did on chapter 1. Again, thank you! I will take everything you said into account for my future chapters.

  5. Profile photo of Ayumi Megumi
    Ayumi Megumi

    Nice! I actually find this very amusing to read. The story is feels light and the way how you make the lines are very good. The cliches are in a and gives it a slapstick comedy like genre also the parodies you used are totally in place. One problem though is that in reading you can’t easily get the references(parody) and have the writer answer it like how I don’t know much about the Darkseid guy or didn’t get the Usui reference at first (there’s also Usui aka Switch from Sket Dance and got them confused) so it’s better if you would be more careful with that or you could come up someway to give information like putting descriptions at the end of the chapter.

    Also since, I read some lighhg novels about making light novels (Like Eromanga-sensei or I’m a highschool boy and a best selling light novel author, strangled by my female classmate, who is a junior and a voice actress) and editing my friend’s novel, I could say that spacing between appropriate lines are important so they don’t look too cramped.

  6. Profile photo of The A.C.
    The A.C.

    First this is hilarious, and the main character seeming so nerdy by using so many references is awesome. The way this doc is formatted though could help make everything more clear when reading it; there were just times I was not sure who was saying what at first. After looking at others comments, I agree that it would be cool to have some kind of descriptions at the end of the chapter for all the references. Good job though, it really gave me a good laugh, and made me look forward to the other chapters.

  7. Profile photo of Ayumi Megumi
    Ayumi Megumi

    Seen some… nice(?) progress/changes here. I don’t know if it was already there in the first place because of my bad memory, but the funny parts are more detailed and even more hard to read with a straight face. Good job.

    1. Profile photo of Ayumi Megumi
      Ayumi Megumi

      I guess everything was changed? Now that I’ve finally read it properly, it’s still funny and the RomCom parts seemed more appropriate. We got some proper scenes from Selena and Carol seemed more of a tsundere rather than a bitch.(no offense) And, I’ve always had to be alert to notice the difference between Javon and Jovan, but the new(?) names helps. The fight scene was cut short but still a good cut/transition.

  8. Profile photo of Strovist
    Strovist

    Excellent blend of 1st and 3rd person narratives. I can learn something from this. Very nice portrayal of actions and thoughts. So far everything is free and easy to follow, and its a very comfortable read. Keep it up!:)

    1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
      Javon Sankoh Post author

      Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it! I have big plans for this light novel so your review of it is really helpful. The problem for me is just getting it out there. If possible, could you tell people about my light novel? I also have it on wattpad. I won’t be completely selfish. I will read your light novel and tell you what I think of it.

      1. Profile photo of Strovist
        Strovist

        Haha no worries:) I’ll let my reader friends know. Don’t worry so much about it. You have uploaded plenty of content for new readers to follow up on. It’s a good read and ppl tend to be more encouraged to read your story when you have at least 10 chapters available for following. Keep up the good work! I’ll wait in anticipation for your great plans:)

        1. Profile photo of Javon Sankoh
          Javon Sankoh Post author

          Okay, again, thank you. I will keep up the good work. I promise I won’t disappoint you. This light novel is WAY different from others. It will have epic battles, good plot, clever drama, and consistent comedy. This light novel will cross lines others haven’t. I know I can’t guarantee anything, but I really think my novel could be up to par with light novels like Swort Art Online and manga like Naruto one day. However, I can guarantee this. NO ONE has read a novel like mine 😉

  9. Profile photo of Luis Aleman
    Luis Aleman

    So here you use more dialogue and less description than in the prologue. At times I can’t really tell so much what the characters are thinking or what their body language says about them. One thing you can do is add some introspection so we can really get into the main character’s head. This way we can feel a more intimate connection and find them more relatable.
    I don’t really know if starting off by naming yourself and such is a good way to hook readers because there isn’t much to pique interest. The beginning does start off like a memoir and not so much like an actual novel. Maybe switching to 3rd person POV would work better or improving on 1st person pov techniques.
    You don’t have to include all dialogue that happens. If it doesn’t serve to drive the plot forward or if it’s just small talk and such you can skip it entirely. The dialogue does sound pretty unnatural too. You can cut out things like “Nevertheless”.
    The first cliche you introduced I found it a bit… uncomfortable to read through. I think readers would enjoy more if cliches weren’t thrown in because we’ve all seen them and frankly, they are annoying. This goes for making references to anime and manga as well. You could lose potential readers with references they no nothing of, so it would be best to go on without them. It can also come across you trying to ride off the success of other works of fiction which is a big “no-no”.
    The pacing is also pretty fast and dialogue dominates the prose. I was lost at times trying to figure out what the characters were thinking or how they were feeling. Try improving it so it also won’t read like a script. Try reading more books too whether fiction or not to get an idea how other writers do prose and character introspection.