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I was transported as a loli in a forest. Now I’m trying to become stronger in another world!
!Link to the pdf file (the whole book) were attached in the attachment box!
It's just a normal day at school. Actually, it's nearing mid the term exam. How many days we before the exam again? If I'm not wrong, it's about one week?
Right now is just nearing the end of English class. The English teacher was the nicest teacher compared to the other. It's probably because he's quite new though.
When the class is ending... To be exact, it's when the teacher open the class door to get outside, the whole class started to act strangely.
Lo and behold! The whole class starts crumbling to the ground and I got teleported into another world! What a surprise! It's not like the title of the book said something along the line of 'Teleportation' or anything right??!
Ughh! My head still spin though...
Eh? What??! Who am I?! I don't have this body?
My boobs weren't this SMAAAAAAAAALL!
Curse you! This is like a body of a ten f*cking year old loli!
P.S. If this were to gain attention, I'd like to make the sequel. If you read till the end, there're a lot of plotholes that was yet to be covered. I realize this because I really want to make a sequel. In fact, I probably already making it by the time you guys are reading this.
This whole file was created and manually written by yours truly in the span of two whole months! I had such a blast writting it though! Feel free to give me your feedback! Just please use nice words for the sake of my own feeling! >.<
P.S.S. I'm new to this website. If there're any rules that I unintentionally violate, I'm really sorry! Please notify me before taking any action! >.<
P.S.S.S. If you're viewing this through a computer, I think you could click the content on the table of content to jumo to the desired chapter.
Edits:
(24/05/21): Edit on attachment text to avoid plagiarism issues and a slight change to the book title.
(30/05/21): Adding new file 'Ver 1.2'. The 'Ver 1.2' is just like the original file, but has been re-read until page 102.
Thanks!
I read as far as the end of chapter one. Not bad. I was able to follow along easily until you got to the conversation between the cat and its opponent. I know the ‘show don’t tell’ attempt there, but the end result boiled down to an A and B conversation and I, as the reader had to C my way out.
Too much info without context. Its really difficult to portray a scene like this from a first person perspective, because the writer doesn’t have the luxury of conveying with supporting paragraphs in between dialogue to the reader. That’s where your hero’s own analysis comes in. I recommend either a reduction of information so early on or have the protagonist speculate internally what we as the reader need to be grasping.
The fight scene plays off like an anime scene that took five seconds to play out. An anime can get away with that because it only took five seconds before the next scene explains what happened. A novel doesn’t have that luxury.
Hewwo~ Thanks for the feedback! I’ll try making it easier for the reader to know what’s going on, in the next edit! (G^_^)9
Honestly, even I think that the information about what’s going on in the end of chapter one is ‘somewhat’ rushed and/or too confusing. I did try to explain much more stuff and ‘what’s going on back then’ in chapter 2 though…
Saying that, I probably still make changes in chapter 1, especially in the near end of it.
I hope you’re intrigued by my story and decide to keep reading it. I honestly will be pleased if you read it till the end, but if you want to have a good stopping point, I’d recommend to read until ‘Ch. Teacher 2.’
And of course, for one more time! Thanks for the feedback!