Elysium of the Shadow
Rentaru purposely kept out of the spotlight for many years simply because he believed what everyone around him was saying. That he was a waste of space, a lap dog with no bite, and that he was better off this way. After being transported to another world along with 11 other 'Chosen', hoping for a brighter future among a new reality. He learns the harsh truth: That humans will be the same no matter what world you're pulled into. Hated and despised for wanting to survive after forcibly being taken away from his home, he travels by the name 'Avern the Shadow'. No longer Rentaru, Avern's timid and meek yet sharp tongue persona changes to one of distrustful, cold calculation to match the world's cruel demeanor. Together with Avarice, goddess of Retribution, and Yunascion of First Light, from a race of blinded individuals. They set out on a crusade against the Cataclysm of the Void that threatens to swallow up this new world whole. And for a final confrontation to solve a heartbreaking mystery 1,000 years in the making.
Discussion (1)
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Discussion (1)
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Justice This is a very intriguing opening. The jaded protagonist is introduced in the endgame situation that brought about the current events. Starting readers at the ending of any story climax is a very difficult feat to pull off. I’d say you did a fine job maintaining my interest in the story.
I personally don’t care much for no good reason broody characters as a protagonist, but I’m given fairly large breadcrumbs as to why this guy has sunk into the depths of despair. So, I’m intrigued. Reminds me of ‘Rise of the Shield Hero’. There is a lot of stimulating statements that have me wanting to visit the events leading up to the protagonist in a death battle with his benefactor.
With that in mind, had you ended this in the throes of despair as the hero died, I probably wouldn’t venture into reading further. This is a foreshadowing a lot of writers failed to keep their audience engaged with. If there is no hope or possibility of redemption, a story isn’t worth the effort for an already known bad ending. What you did was brilliant. Even as the protagonist surrenders to death, there is a tug of hope that makes me want to root for the hero to stand up once again. Either he finds a way to keep fighting or leaves an avenue for someone else to take up where he left off.
You really did a good job making me sympathize with each of the characters. The hero, the hero’s benefactor, and even the enemy. The protagonist is not the hero out of the kindness of his heart, nor did the benefactor give him powers out of reasons of boredom, or the bad guy is a bad guy because their evil. At least, that is how I read it. I really want to know why these jaded characters are in this situation despite none of them wanting to actually be there.
Comments are closed.
This is a very intriguing opening. The jaded protagonist is introduced in the endgame situation that brought about the current events. Starting readers at the ending of any story climax is a very difficult feat to pull off. I’d say you did a fine job maintaining my interest in the story.
I personally don’t care much for no good reason broody characters as a protagonist, but I’m given fairly large breadcrumbs as to why this guy has sunk into the depths of despair. So, I’m intrigued. Reminds me of ‘Rise of the Shield Hero’. There is a lot of stimulating statements that have me wanting to visit the events leading up to the protagonist in a death battle with his benefactor.
With that in mind, had you ended this in the throes of despair as the hero died, I probably wouldn’t venture into reading further. This is a foreshadowing a lot of writers failed to keep their audience engaged with. If there is no hope or possibility of redemption, a story isn’t worth the effort for an already known bad ending. What you did was brilliant. Even as the protagonist surrenders to death, there is a tug of hope that makes me want to root for the hero to stand up once again. Either he finds a way to keep fighting or leaves an avenue for someone else to take up where he left off.
You really did a good job making me sympathize with each of the characters. The hero, the hero’s benefactor, and even the enemy. The protagonist is not the hero out of the kindness of his heart, nor did the benefactor give him powers out of reasons of boredom, or the bad guy is a bad guy because their evil. At least, that is how I read it. I really want to know why these jaded characters are in this situation despite none of them wanting to actually be there.